My Personal Commandments

I’ve been reflecting on where I am in life right now, what ‘My Personal Commandments’ have become, and why I even have them.

I often have this anxiety around not being able to do enough and impact the state of the world enough before I die one day – but I do plan to live to at least 90 (hopefully over 100 – that’s my goal), so hopefully I still have some time! 

I remember learning about The 10 Commandments at church, and as a child, they scared the hell out of me. I was like why on earth does God have to make such hectic rules, is this our normal nature? Is this how humans naturally behave or something that we have to have these rules in place to tell them not to do these things? And it actually scared me so much and made me perceive the world and all humans as such scary creatures. Like what if these people are not in church and nobody has told them these rules?? Do they know they can’t just murder me???

So I have raised my own son without such worries, and have mostly let him make his own mind up about things. He’s 10 now and a few weeks ago I asked him what his beliefs are around God, and he had such a beautiful explanation which he has come up with himself about how the earth came to be, the Big Bang theory, evolution, the dinosaurs, and the sun and how he believes that the sun is God because without it we all die. And that it’s the source of all power. 

He’s come to this point of view by himself, from listening to adults talk about religion, the universe, from watching YouTube videos and documentaries, funny kids shows he’s into, learning about planets and science at school and reading books. 

And I just thought that was so lovely. I can see his personality and belief system developing based on all the influences in his world. And I’m so glad it’s not from a fear-based perspective, and that he’s not petrified of some giant man in the sky or the fiery pits of hell like I was.

This is not to throw shade on any religion. I have no problem with religion, faith, or different perspectives and beliefs— in fact, I encourage it. What I do take issue with is when people claim to have all the answers on a subject that is inherently based on faith and then impose their beliefs on others in a fear-based manner, rather than fostering empowerment, curiosity, and personal inquiry.

So back to my own Personal Commandments, I’m sharing this to timestamp where I’m at right now, and the way I try to move through the world. It’s taken me so much unlearning to get to this list, but I understand a lot more about myself these days, as well as the constant dance between the light and the dark. 

Here are my own Personal Commandments that keep me in check and help me maintain clear boundaries with others too. 

1. You are allowed to walk away from people who say nasty things to you. There are plenty of people in the world who will treat you with consistent kindness and constantly have your best interests at heart. 
2. Having a healthy diet and strong, fit body is very important. It underpins everything in life.
3. Getting drunk is mostly not a good idea. It’s okay to be tipsy here and there but strive to keep alcohol to a minimum.
4. When humans stray too far from nature, they unconsciously start to search for that connection elsewhere. I believe that is what leads to addictive behaviours. Addiction for me = missing a true connection to God / nature / source energy – whatever word you use to describe what that higher power is for you. The only way to then break that addiction is to change ‘addicted to a substance / thing’ to ‘committed to my peace’ and then figure out what peace means for you. For me, my peace is spending time in nature, practicing yoga, listening to music, dancing and meditating. When I’m incorporating all of those things into my days and weeks, I have peace and I don’t get addicted to much else in bad ways, because I’m committed to my peace. 
5. Do work that lights you up AND changes the world. Your work should spark joy, somehow, for someone, including you. Because that’s why we came here. To experience joy.
6. Know that you are not alone in this world. No problem is too big for you to share with someone who loves you. And there is always someone who loves you.
7. You deserve to enjoy your life and have loads of fun, because you were born on earth.
8. The goal is not ‘to be rich’ the goal is to be comfortable and relaxed and live a life you love. Decide what that looks like for you, and then work to get there. If the energy you’re putting towards your work is pure, unclouded, intentional and creating value in the world, then that energy will come back to you.
9. Have integrity with your word. Speak your truth with kindness and clarity. Follow through on things. If you change your mind about something, that’s okay – just communicate honestly and clearly about your situation. 
10. Stay true to your weirdness and child-like nature. The world is a better place with you and your uniqueness in it. 

I feel like if I was taught all of this in church, at a young age, instead of The 10 Commandments, I probably wouldn’t have been that scared of being murdered or making any mistakes and then God banishing me to the depths of hell, and that probably would’ve changed a lot for me. That said, I wouldn’t change any of it for a second. It’s all made me who I am today and brought me to right here, with a set of my own Personal Commandments to follow, update and add to for my next hopefully 60 years on this planet.

I’d love to hear if you have any of your own Personal Commandments to add?